daemon mailer

@ The Brutal Times

• David Lee Roth Looks Like Steve Martin January 14, 2012
  By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES - Van Halen fans watching the band's just-released video with singer David Lee Roth for the song Tattoo, have been scratching themselves more than usual this week, as many were noticing that Roth now bears a striking resemblance to comedian Steve Martin. "Well, the reason for that is quite obvious to me at least," q […]
  DJ Salinger
• Nietzsche’s New Sex Tape! December 27, 2011
  By Daemon Mailer, HELSINKI - Internet users breathed a heavy sigh of Internet relief this morning at news that the Obama Administration and governments around the globe will allow German philosopher Nietzsche's new sex tape to stream a little longer. […]
  Daemon Mailer
• For Lefties, the Right Hand is ‘The Stranger’ December 17, 2011
  By El Toro, with DJ Salinger contributing, IOWA - Yes, for years folks over forty thought Billy Joel was "The Stranger." And maybe he was, in a way, in whatever way that might mean. […]
  El Toro
• Morning Person Pisses Everyone Off December 13, 2011
  By Owen Richardson, Special to The Brutal Times, KANSAS - Morning people. Who makes them? God, probably. But as time goes on, can we really be so sure? When we cross paths with a morning person after a long night of self-abuse and injurious introspection are we really so well-advised to defer to that person, saying things like, "Uh-huh," and " […]
  The Brutal Times
• Guy’s Nose Ring Looks Like a Booger December 12, 2011
  By Smia Oots, VANCOUVER - I saw a guy riding a bike with one of them nose rings? It looked like a booger. "Booger" means booger in Canadian English. "It's not a booger - it's a piercing," the guy, Dale Barrings, 16, a loans officer at Scotia Bank, told me. But it sure looks like a booger. […]
  Smia Oots
• Man Uses Social Networking Tool Facebook to Express Himself, but not Twitter December 9, 2011
  By Daemon Mailer, SAN FRANCISCO – Laughton Cahootenghastob, 21, a hedge fund manager at Billy’s Bank, never expected to be caught in the epicenter of an Internet shitstorm. But after Cahootenghastob used social networking tool Facebook to express himself last […]
  Daemon Mailer
• Gingrich Reaches Out to Conservatives December 9, 2011
  By Barry Hussein, IOWA – Moving his arm and stretching it away from his body, 2012 U.S. Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich reached out to conservatives this week, touching many in places they hadn’t been touched before. “There’s this place, on […]
  Barry Husein
• Football Fans Call For More ESPN Gaffes December 8, 2011
  By Styles Cradgerock, ATLANTA – Football. More than just passing a ball around. But is it, really? Nonetheless a whole lotta people love this great American pastime.com. Yet more and more, more of them (the lovers) are calling for football […]
  Styles Cradgerock
• Nameless Drifters Face Housing Shortage December 6, 2011
  By The Serge, TORONTO – Once again, flying in the face of everything, the upper crust is deeming to dump on, er, the lower crust. Case in point, according to a landmark study issued by prestigious Carribean think tank MyGoodies, […]
  the serge
• One Billion Killer Baby Names! December 5, 2011
  By Business Jesus, PARIS – Well, it’s that season again, and everybody’s flummoxed as to what to name their kid? No worries, mate! BT and the folks at home have double-teamed on a new eBook that you can download straight […]
  Business Jesus